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Four-panel humor comic: a fuzzy left-handed mascot on the mound, a radar gun at 79 mph, a broadcaster pointing out the name, fans holding CAN HE START signs.
Four panels: not the starter, 79 in the suit, the name was a hint, can he start. · Comic: Topics / Drew’s Comic Newsroom. Source: HITC citing MLB on X, Aug. 25, 2026.

Humor · SATIRE

Southpaw threw 79. In the suit.

What happened

The White Sox beat Texas 11-7 on Tuesday. That is not what people were talking about, HITC writes. They were talking about the mascot’s arm. MLB’s account posted the clip on Aug. 25: a pitch from Southpaw flagged at 79 miles per hour, with the note that the mascot “looks like prime Randy Johnson” and, also underrated, that Southpaw is actually a southpaw. The Sox had lost 11-2 to the Rangers earlier in the week. The win was real. The clip was louder.

The replies were the joke finishing itself. 79 in oversized gloves and presumably no warmup. Can he start. He should start the next bullpen game. A lot of teams could use this guy on the mound. He probably throws 90 without the costume. Throwing 79 in a mascot uniform is actually insane. The team was back against the Rangers the next night. The mascot, as far as the recap goes, remained in the suit.

Why it matters

It does not, and that is the charm. A ceremonial toss accidentally became a scouting report, and the league’s own caption did half the comedy by noticing the left hand. Baseball spends a lot of energy on velocity. Here the radar gun wandered onto a fuzzy creature and still found a number people respected. There is no deeper rotation implication. There is a video, a 79, and a comment section that did not need a second writer.

The Sox could use the win. They used the mascot more. Humor on this desk is allowed to stay light if the source stays light. HITC is a clip plus quotes. We are not turning it into a clubhouse feature. We are filing the radar gun, and we are not inflating 79 to 99.

Conclusion

No further analysis is required, which is a full thought, not a dodge. The radar gun wrote 79. MLB wrote that Southpaw is actually a southpaw. The replies wrote “can he start.” The comic is those three lines in four panels, and the pitch stays 79 miles per hour in the suit.

Source: HITC